Well, this is my first time to blog, so, be patient with me. I think I may have tried it before, but not sure that I actually published anything. So...here goes....
As most of you that are reading this know, Paul and I just celebrated our five year wedding anniversary!! I know! I can't believe it either. Five years ago, when Paul and I took the vow to be huband and wife, and to start this life that God had placed before us together, we were so very happy. And...five years later, we are even happier than I could have ever imagined. Now, I'm not saying we haven't had our differences, but, I know WITHOUT a doubt; Paul is the man God made for me!
Ok, ok, enough of the sappy stuff. :) Not only did Paul and I vow our love, and commitment for each other five years ago, but, we also said that we would start trying to have children when we had been married for five years. Of course, being the impatient person I am (I'm working on that) I wanted to try sooner. So, a little over a year ago, we stopped "not preventing." I sit here five years, one week, and one day into our marriage, and no baby. I have felt sorry for myself, I have questioned God, I have been bitter, angry, sad, confused, and hopless. I have faith, and I believe this will happen in God's timing. However, it is much easier said than done. I go through so many emotions on any given day. Some days, I'm fine, some days I feel sorry for myself. Like I said, this has been a roller coaster for me. But, this morning in church, we watched Louie Giglio's Symphony video. At first, I really didn't think the message was for me, until I heard Chris Tomlin's song, "I Lift My Hands" Now, I have heard this song many times before, I'm a big Chris Tomlin fan ( I saw him back in 1998 in Archer City, TX....oh sorry, my ADD is kicking in...) Like I said I have heard this song many times, but this morning, it really, really spoke to me....here are the lyrics:

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me

So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

WOW!!! Are you in tears as I was when you really listen, and read the lyrics? Let them speak to you.....go ahead, go on over to youtube so you can really hear the song..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX2s1Ptar4Y look! I even posted the link... you're welcome. :) I think the line:

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Is what really, really spoke to me. See, I have a pretty strong personality. If you are really close to me, this comes as no suprise. So, I often find myself being able to handle everything on my own, well..."thinking" I can handle everything on my own. But you know, what? I can't!! As I sit here and pour out all of these things to you,( I have also poured these things out to the Lord) I hope you remeber, as I was once again reminded this morning, God is our refuge HE is our strength! God is faithful, FOREVER!!!!
I WILL let Faith arise!!!!!!!!!! If you are still reading this, please pray that this will be my daily testimony, that I may never forget that I can NOT do anything without the strength of our Lord!!